Dear Diary

[Elyepsm]

Well its been a month into my new journey on the road to recovery and healthy living. Lets just say its not been the best month. I'm finding it quite difficult to stay focused. I've been going to the gym but the tough part is keeping to my diet. I work nightshift so I'm finding that I'm feeling quite tired alot of the time.
As for my weight, I have lost 4.6 kilo's so that is a good sign, however I still have a long journey ahead of me. I have been trying to keep busy to keep away from negative thoughts about myself, and that too has its moments. I try to stay positive and I feel real good when I'm training, Its just when I'm at work my thought patterns tend to spiral out of control. I work in quite a mind numbing job so unfortunately it gives me alot of time to think. When I'm at home I'm fine because I do things around the house and the yard or in the garden to keep myself occupied.
I have been attending my local fitness centre about 3 times per week and walking/jogging occationally. I have only spent one lesson in a muay thai gym, that just comes down to finances there.....its a big month for bills so once I get on top of those I would like to spend more time doing muay thai as well as going to the fitness centre, but at the moment I can only afford to attend the fitness centre but thats ok, I will be back on top of things soon. I think I need to find my feet and settle into a routine as I find with a routine it will be much easier to stick to my game plan. At the moment I feel like I've got sea legs and I'm still scrambling.

But all in all, the positive thing is that I've lost weight this month and that is truely a wonderful feeling. I hope that next month will be much better. I think my bootcamp training (which starts in November) will certainly increase my fitness and give me something to look forward to each week.

Thankyou for reading my progress journal and I look forward to writing againg next month.

Have a lovely day everyone

Elyepsm :)

[samkor]

losing 4.6 kilos is way better than putting on 4.6, so congratulations on that.. you used to fight and train right, can you hang a bag anywhere.. if you cant get down to the gym or do classes, you could run a do rounds at home. there are heaps of things you can do by yourself, push ups, sit ups, bag rounds and running, i suppose it is hard to get motivated at home, but just some suggestions for you if you cant make it to the gym.......
well done on your progress anyway.

[LXXIX]

good stuff i was once 105 kg now i sit at 80kg not easy at the start but when it comes of its the best feeling ever..
if you go jogging it falls of ya...run every 2nd day dont cheat with food and in 6 months you should be around 70 or lighter

[imported_n/a]

quote:I work in quite a mind numbing job so unfortunately it gives me alot of time to think
Hi Sandra, things are sounding pretty good. Is it possible to take an ipod or similar to work with you? and maybe listen to you favorite tunes or even podcast some hammish and andy or the like to keep you mind from wondering?

[Dunny]

Hi Elepsym....yep finances are a bugger aren't they? Nevertheless good luck with your endeavours, 4.5kg's is a great start. Weight loss isn't rocket science, keep up with the diet and exercise and the kg's will fall away. As LXXIX said it doesn't come off all at once but eventually it will, and its great when it does. I dropped 14kg's in 3 months for my last fight. Look forward to having you back in the gym when you get down here.

[Aaron Kerr]

Congrats on your weight loss, you've started the ball rolling.

When you say "Mind-Numbing job" do you mean repetitive type work? If so, then try to compete with yourself, it helps the time fly.

Here's an example of what I mean ...if you were to say, put x amount of nuts onto x amount of bolts, then try to increase this amount each day, so as you have something to strive for.

Sorry, boring example, but I think you'll get what I mean.

What Russ said, is a good example to help time pass also, that's if you're able to listen to music at your place of work. I find 60's,70's and 80's music the best to work too, most is pretty mellow ,but has enough beat to keep ya groove on.

Also, affirmations are really good too, if you find yourself doubting yourself etc, then try saying to yourself something like "I'm good at what I do, and I'm only going to get better".

Creating a positive thought pattern is a huge step in the road to recovery.

All the very best.

[Elyepsm]

Hey Everyone,
Thanks so much for your kind advice, Its good to hear other peoples imput as well.

Russ - Yes it is possible for us to use an Ipod at work coz were on nightshift and there's no management around so I like that idea.

Dunny - Yes mate I am really looking forward to coming back down to the gym, I had a ball the last time I went. As soon as I get a few bills payed off then I will certainly be back into it.

Aaron Kerr - I like the idea on the competitiveness of my daily routine at work, Yes I work as a storeperson for Smiths Chips (not a good place to work when your trying to lose a few kilo's lol) and my work is the same thing day in day out.
As for the affirmations, your so right, I need to work on those positive thought patterns. You see, my problem is, I have a massive problem with my self esteam, I have struggled with it for as long as I can remember. Its hard for me to look at myself and feel good about myself. I tend to be very self concious and thats where alot of the negitive thought patterns start to form. I tend to feel nervous about what other people think. It's like when you walk down the street you feel like everyone is watching you and judging
you....It's an aweful feeling but It's something that i'm working through with my councilor at present. Long process, I am hoping to grow out of that one day.

I hope nobody minds if I continue to write a journal here each month, I find it is a good release for me and it helps to hear other peoples stories and opinions too.

Thanks again everyone :)

[Aaron Kerr]

Hi Elyepsm,

About the feeling as though people are watching/judging you as you walk down the street, this is pretty common for anyone suffering depression, I know I used to lock myself away in my house, and would dread having to go out in public, as I had those exact same feelings. Sometimes we have to fake a smile to get though the day, try walking with your head up, shoulders back and having a smile or even a cheeky smirk, if you look confident, you can eventually trick your brain into feeling confident.

Another thing I believe we should all learn to do, is to pamper ourselves from time to time, getting a facial, having a massage, spa or sauna etc, helps to relieve stress, and also makes you feel better about things, and oneself.

Going back to the affirmation thing, I found affirmations a huge key to my recovery, we can all turn our negative thoughts into positive ones, if we know how, and with enough practice.

God bless, take care.


P.S. I'm sure people will be fine if you keep us up to date with how things are going etc, we can all benefit from sharing eachothers experiences.