EyeSpy
08-02-2006, 12:16 PM
from EyeSpy, roving kickboxing reporter...
'The Fan'. 1986 starring Wesley Snipes and a freaky Robert De Niro obsessed with his hero...
From the days when as a kiddie I would pester Dad to let me watch that smooth talking guy who claimed in every sentence to be 'The Greatest', till as a grownup I got to experience first hand many more ultimate athletes in their chosen field, it occurred to me that the real interest isn't actually watching that person at all.
Shane Warne the great text cricketer (oops, I mean Test Cricketer), Mike Jordan, winning countless games on the bell, Mike Tyson scoring Rd 1 KO's, Tiger Woods juggling golf balls on his sand wedge between winning Majors. Yawn. It all gets a little mundane watching great athletes.
What I really like to watch are the various supporters, hangers on, and wanabees who hook onto the wagon of these champs. Often watching the antics of these guys far outstrips the spectacle of athletic perfection.
If you are wondering what the hell I'm taking about let me give you some examples.
Steffi Graf
Back in the days when she was the queen of the court (you know, before she got an affinity for short bald men), it looked like a young American upstart called Monica Seles was about to end that era, so her 'best fan' jabs an ice pick between Mon's shoulder blades. End of competition!
Juventus vs Liverpool, champions league final 1985, Belgium.
What better things to do than start a riot when the football goes quiet. Opposing fans go mental in a 'neutral' corner of the stadium, breaking a retaining wall resulting in 39 deaths (no Englishmen!)
Oh by the way, Juve won 1-0 from a dodgy penalty!
It just goes to show that fanatical support in any sporting arena attracts fanatical opposition, and that usually breeds fanatical conflict.
Which brings me to our own little band of fanatics, often called the 'Nuthugger'.
What a warm, fuzzy feeling this thought engenders but deep down there is the same sort of manic, thoughtlessness that occurs in all fanatics. Let's think of an adequate definition.
'Nuthugger', noun, a person totally engrossed in their sporting idol such that logic process is replaced by oftenwise aggressive pursuit of advancement. A warm, reassuring feeling in thinking their association with their hero raises their socio/economic standing amongst their peers. Nuthuggers overlook the negative, reinforce the positive and become violent (verbally or physically) against their detractors.
Remember that little furry squirrel in 'Iceage', protecting his nut with his life while the mountains slam down beside him? Perhaps that is the best definition of all!
Some people (men) often claim that the logic thought processes of women become embroilled in emotion and thus lack credibility however a female's brainpattern approaches Einstein when compared to the Nuthugger, a dangerous Frankenstein-like monster capable of unmentionable crimes against sensibility.
Now this is where the peoples' champion, EyeSpy, feels it is time to step in on behalf of our Nuthugging bro's and sis's. Where would the passionate comments be if there were no Nuthuggers? Where would be the humour in reading the incredulous responses of those who feel aggrieved that too much mindless, one-sided tripe is appearing on their fav forum?
It is funny how the athlete is often oblivious to the predilection of their fans. Nor do they care. To them it is a job and a day in the office. To the fan and nuthugger in particular, it is life and death.
EyeSpy is a creature of habit and logic, but he/she can't understand how a Nuthugger can support say an athlete from their own faraway country regardless of the actual results they achieve. And if the results are bogus, even better. Nuthuggers need a reality check, a new life and a really good dose of S & M to calm those untethered passions.
And there are anti-nuthuggers too, nuthaters. They are people who for exactly the same reasons bag the hell out of an athlete equally regardless of fact. These creatures are glass-half-empty people. Depressing.
That's it for EyeSpy, I'm off to discover the pleasures of S & M in a quiet part of town. Hope I don't bump into too many of you guys there...<img src=icon_smile_kisses.gif border=0 align=middle>
Edited by - eyespy on 08 Feb 2006 16:11:49
'The Fan'. 1986 starring Wesley Snipes and a freaky Robert De Niro obsessed with his hero...
From the days when as a kiddie I would pester Dad to let me watch that smooth talking guy who claimed in every sentence to be 'The Greatest', till as a grownup I got to experience first hand many more ultimate athletes in their chosen field, it occurred to me that the real interest isn't actually watching that person at all.
Shane Warne the great text cricketer (oops, I mean Test Cricketer), Mike Jordan, winning countless games on the bell, Mike Tyson scoring Rd 1 KO's, Tiger Woods juggling golf balls on his sand wedge between winning Majors. Yawn. It all gets a little mundane watching great athletes.
What I really like to watch are the various supporters, hangers on, and wanabees who hook onto the wagon of these champs. Often watching the antics of these guys far outstrips the spectacle of athletic perfection.
If you are wondering what the hell I'm taking about let me give you some examples.
Steffi Graf
Back in the days when she was the queen of the court (you know, before she got an affinity for short bald men), it looked like a young American upstart called Monica Seles was about to end that era, so her 'best fan' jabs an ice pick between Mon's shoulder blades. End of competition!
Juventus vs Liverpool, champions league final 1985, Belgium.
What better things to do than start a riot when the football goes quiet. Opposing fans go mental in a 'neutral' corner of the stadium, breaking a retaining wall resulting in 39 deaths (no Englishmen!)
Oh by the way, Juve won 1-0 from a dodgy penalty!
It just goes to show that fanatical support in any sporting arena attracts fanatical opposition, and that usually breeds fanatical conflict.
Which brings me to our own little band of fanatics, often called the 'Nuthugger'.
What a warm, fuzzy feeling this thought engenders but deep down there is the same sort of manic, thoughtlessness that occurs in all fanatics. Let's think of an adequate definition.
'Nuthugger', noun, a person totally engrossed in their sporting idol such that logic process is replaced by oftenwise aggressive pursuit of advancement. A warm, reassuring feeling in thinking their association with their hero raises their socio/economic standing amongst their peers. Nuthuggers overlook the negative, reinforce the positive and become violent (verbally or physically) against their detractors.
Remember that little furry squirrel in 'Iceage', protecting his nut with his life while the mountains slam down beside him? Perhaps that is the best definition of all!
Some people (men) often claim that the logic thought processes of women become embroilled in emotion and thus lack credibility however a female's brainpattern approaches Einstein when compared to the Nuthugger, a dangerous Frankenstein-like monster capable of unmentionable crimes against sensibility.
Now this is where the peoples' champion, EyeSpy, feels it is time to step in on behalf of our Nuthugging bro's and sis's. Where would the passionate comments be if there were no Nuthuggers? Where would be the humour in reading the incredulous responses of those who feel aggrieved that too much mindless, one-sided tripe is appearing on their fav forum?
It is funny how the athlete is often oblivious to the predilection of their fans. Nor do they care. To them it is a job and a day in the office. To the fan and nuthugger in particular, it is life and death.
EyeSpy is a creature of habit and logic, but he/she can't understand how a Nuthugger can support say an athlete from their own faraway country regardless of the actual results they achieve. And if the results are bogus, even better. Nuthuggers need a reality check, a new life and a really good dose of S & M to calm those untethered passions.
And there are anti-nuthuggers too, nuthaters. They are people who for exactly the same reasons bag the hell out of an athlete equally regardless of fact. These creatures are glass-half-empty people. Depressing.
That's it for EyeSpy, I'm off to discover the pleasures of S & M in a quiet part of town. Hope I don't bump into too many of you guys there...<img src=icon_smile_kisses.gif border=0 align=middle>
Edited by - eyespy on 08 Feb 2006 16:11:49